


Someone you might have been

by carameldumpling



Category: Gossip Girl
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Genderbending, Multi, Twins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-24
Updated: 2011-04-24
Packaged: 2017-10-18 15:02:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/190114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carameldumpling/pseuds/carameldumpling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>5 ways erik and serena remain siblings, only in different ways</p>
            </blockquote>





	Someone you might have been

**Author's Note:**

> Posted on LJ - 27 June 2010

**One.**

Serena rushes into the house, white flip-flops making loud noises with every step. “Mom!” she calls out. “Mom, I’m home!”

It’s been two months since Serena and Blair began their post-graduation Europe road trip, and Serena’s tan from Spain is still glowing. Mom might have called once every two days –  _you’re my daughter, dear, of course I’m worried_  – but the trip had been absolutely amazing. Days of lounging at beaches and checking out tourist traps were not as boring as Serena had worried it would be.

The best thing that had happened, of course, was the smoking hot blonde she met in Greece. They’d got along so well, as if they had known each other forever. If Serena closes her eyes and thinks hard enough, she can still remember his blue eyes, the chiseled jaw, the laughter that made her speechless and stupid for a few seconds. 

“Serena!” Lily’s voice snaps her out of her thoughts. She finds herself engulfed in a hug, and inhales her mother’s scent. Every time she had passed by a person that smelled of Chanel No. 5, she felt homesick.

“I missed you so much, sweetheart,” Lily says, pulling back. “Look at you! You’re so tan!”

Serena laughs. “Yeah, Spain and Portugal were pretty amazing.” She pauses. “Greece, too.”

Lily seems to know what’s running in Serena’s head. It’s always been that way - Serena thinks it’s because it’s always just her and Mom, so they can practically read each other’s minds. “Greece, huh. You can tell me all about it later. But now, I’ve got something to tell you.”

Serena’s smile slips off her face. “Is it Grandma?” She asks, worried. Grandma’s been having all kinds of sicknesses, Serena can barely keep track anymore.

“No, no, Grandma’s… normal,” Lily replies. Using the term ‘fine’ would be an overstatement. “It’s your father.”

Serena doesn’t really know how to respond to that. All she knows is that William van der Woodsen walked out of their lives when she was barely one, and she wishes so bad that he’s come back and apologize so that they can be one big happy family again.

“Honey,” Lily frowns. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Serena nods. “Yeah, I’m good. Uh, what does… what does  _Dad_  want?”

It’s so weird using that term.  _Dad._  The closest thing she had for a father was her butler. And wasn’t that just pathetic. 

Lily bites her lip. “I don’t know how else to say this. Your father’s getting married, and he wants to see you.”

Serena’s heart plummets. So much for the happy family dream.

: : :

Her father decides to marry in California, of all places, and you just can’t look glamorous in this kind of sweltering heat.

Aside from meeting her father for the first time in years, apparently she also has a sibling that her mother conveniently forgot to tell her about. Serena still hasn’t forgiven her for that.

They’re at the lobby, ten minutes early. She fidgets in her Dolce and Gabbana dress, worrying about everything. What if her father doesn’t like her? What if her sibling turns out to be a complete bitch? What if Dad doesn’t recognize her? Serena doesn’t think she can take that, not after hoping for so long. 

The lift door opens, and a blonde man comes out. He’s wearing a suit, and Serena instantly recognizes him.  _Dad._

William van der Woodsen takes one look at her and smiles widely. The knots in Serena’s stomach loosen slightly. “Serena! Sweetheart!”

He grabs her into a huge bear hug. Serena grips his blazer tightly, tries to remember what he smells like. What  _Dad_  smells like.

“Serena?”

Serena pulls back. The hot blonde guy from Greece is staring at her. “Erik?”

“Wait,” Lily asks. “You two know each other?”

“Yeah,” Erik drawls, looking at her as if she had three heads. “We do.”

 _Too well_ , Serena thinks.  _We know each other too well._

“Well, thank god,” William grins. “I was worried about awkward silences between you too. Erik, this your little sister, Serena. Serena, this is your older brother, Erik.”

 _Fuck._

  
 **Two.**

“Rena, no!” Erik giggles, trying to escape his older sister’s wandering fingers. “No tickle!”

Serena laughs, watching her three-year-old brother trying to run away from her, burying himself in the sheets. “Uh-uh Erik,” she grins. “You don’t get to run away from me!”

She attacks the lump underneath the comforter, and Erik shrieks, laughing. Tiny toddler hands try to push her away. “No, no, Rena, no!”

A twenty-year-old adult would be extremely traumatized if her parents announced that they would be having another baby, because that means that they still have sex.  _And no one needs to know that._  Serena was so scarred that she had drank whatever the bartender gave her and more, trying to forget the fact that her parents were still having sex. Her friends joined in soon after, because Mr. and Mrs. van der Woodsen getting it on? That was an image that they never wanted in their heads.

Then Erik arrived, with a head of blonde hair, curious blue eyes and even more curious hands, and all was forgiven. 

“Serena? Erik?” 

Serena looks up. Lily stands at the doorway, arms folded. Their mother’s trying really hard not to laugh as Erik emerges from the bed sheets, blonde hair in a mess, big blue eyes confused. “Mommy?”

“What did I say about messing the bed?”

Erik’s lower lip wobbles. “Rena tickle me!” he protests, pointing an accusing finger at his sister. “Not me, Mommy!”

Lily raises an eyebrow, looking at her oldest. Serena shrugs, pulling her brother into a hug. “He was bored. And it’s raining. And if I didn’t tickle him, Dad would, anyway.”

Lily makes a face. She knows that her husband certainly would. “Don’t you and Blair have some lunch date today?” She asks. “After all, it’s so rare to find you both in the same place nowadays.”

That’s true. While Blair’s busy scaring people on the West Coast with her awesome lawyer skills, Serena’s working for the family business. Ever since they left college last year – “Thank fuck,” Blair had said solemnly during her valedictorian speech. “There’s only so many times I can make coffee for lawyers as a college intern.” – Serena’s probably met her best friend twice. 

“We’re meeting here,” Serena says. “Blair’s bringing food, and we’re going to tickle Erik until he cries Uncle.”

“Uncle,” Erik says immediately, looking up hopefully. Blair’s a worse tickler than his sister, and he knows it.

Serena laughs. “Doesn’t count, Erik,” she wiggles a finger at him. “Not until Blair comes.”

Erik pouts so well when he puts in the effort. Even William van der Woodsen crumbles at the sight of puppy dog eyes of his youngest. That’s probably why Erik has the largest toy collection in the Upper East Side.

“Lunch time, Erik,” Lily says, walking towards them. “Then you can continue playing with your sister. If the rain stops, maybe you can play outside.”

Erik brightens up at that. “Puddles?” he asks, practically vibrating in excitement in Serena’s arms.

“Only if you eat your vegetables.”

“Okay!” Erik agrees instantly, bouncing. He’d do anything to jump in puddles. Until today their parents don’t understand why Erik absolutely loves to do this. Serena doesn’t tell them about that one time Nate had given Erik sweets for every puddle he jumped in, because ‘only the brave would attack the evil aliens living in puddles’. 

Lily pulls Erik into her arms, and he curls around her, like a contented cat. “Call Blair,” she tells Serena. “Otherwise you’d have a late lunch.”

Serena looks at the time. Yeah, it is getting late. “Maybe I’ll call Nate and Chuck, too. They haven’t seen Erik in a long time, anyway.”

She’s probably going to have to bribe Chuck with false sexual favours and convince Nate that no, Blair is not going to sue his ass off when they meet, but the look of glee on Erik’s face is worth it. 

  
 **Three.**

They have a deal. Erik will do better in Maths and Science, and Serena will do well in English and Humanities. Serena will beat Erik in Literature on odd months, and Erik will win her on even ones. Mom and Dad are too busy with their own thing, so they never notice the pattern. What they do notice is that both of them are doing equally well. Everyone wins.

They’ve always looked out for each other. It’s as if it’s part of their genetic make-up.

As two-year-olds, Erik knows exactly what Serena wants, and vice versa. They mumble to each other in their own baby language, and more often than not, when Dad checks on them in the middle of the night, Erik has moved from his bed to Serena’s. He still makes sure that he’s between her and the door, though. 

Serena refuses to wear dresses unless Erik does. Mom gives up trying to squeeze her into one. This phase went on until they were seven. 

On their first play date with one Charles Bass, Serena falls on the ground after Chuck pushes her. Erik sees red and shoves Chuck’s face into the mud, babbling furiously. The threat is understood, and after a clothes change – and washing Chuck’s face – the three of them continue playing, but Chuck makes sure there’s a distance between him and Serena.

Sometimes Bart Bass wonders if this is why his son became bisexual. He may never know.

Snot-faced Robbie Turnby of some long-gone aristocracy always bugs Serena when they’re in pre-school. Whenever Blair and Serena play teatime he goes up to them, shoves Blair aside and yanks the teapot away from Serena’s hands, telling her that only servants do that. Erik takes time off from playing Transformers with Chuck and Nate to throw Robbie aside and punch him in the face.

Robbie will run crying to the teacher, as if he was a girl, and Mom gets called up.  _You have a son with violent tendencies, Mrs. van der Woodsen,_  the stupid teacher once said. Erik simply tells her that Robbie deserved it. He annoys Serena. Make her cry. No one makes Serena cry – that’s his mantra. Mom runs a hand through his hair and tells him to wait outside the room. Mom doesn’t get called up after that. 

By the time they turn ten, Mom gives up asking them to complete their sentences. They always know what the other is thinking, there’s no reason to waste your voice.

“See, Dad, the thing is, Serena doesn’t believe that-”

“Cause you can’t Erik, there’s-”

“True, but then again just-”

“Mmm, maybe. A little?”

“Hnngh.”

Dad agrees with Mom after attempting to help them with their science fair projects and get that conversation in response.

The students at Constance Billard and St. Jude’s call them the prince and princess of the Upper East Side. Erik makes a face when they call them both beautiful, because that’s the term for girls. Smoking hot, yeah, he can accept that. Tons of seniors look at Serena too longingly. Too many girls of all grades ask him out. The only thing he wants to do after school is to walk home with his sister, not to go to a back alley and look at someone’s tits. That would be cool, but just, no. 

On the days Serena falls sick and doesn’t go to school with him, he accepts the offers, though. 

The summer when they turn fifteen, Serena screws up. She sleeps with Nate, and is terrified that Blair will find out. Erik wants to tell her ‘I told you so’, because he’s been warning her about how Nate Archibald’s hands seem to go astray every time they meet up, but she never listened. He doesn’t though, because he’s an awesome big brother. Yeah, he knows it’s by three minutes, but it still counts.

So instead of going to the Archibalds' house and punching Nate until his pretty face becomes concave, Erik does something worse. He sleeps with Blair, because she’s so confused at how distant Nate is and feels so alone, and he pounces at the opportunity when she throws herself at him.

He feels like a dick after that, but whatever.

When Serena wants to go to boarding school, Erik goes too, because that’s how it is. They’ll always be in the same place. 

A year later, Erik decides that he’s going back. Serena packs her bags and follows him, potential social pariah status be damned.

Nate keeps on apologizing for sleeping with Serena. Erik tells him to shut up about it, because he will punch Nate in the face if he keeps on reminding him. They laugh, embrace in a manly hug, and Nate asks if Erik is still good in lacrosse, because they need players. 

Blair has found out that Serena and Nate slept together, and she shuns her from their elite group, so Serena meets Erik for lunch everyday. They find a corner in the school that they have always called their own, even before they left, and they talk about anything and every thing under the sun. 

Serena’s miserable though. Her best friend is ignoring her, and Nate doesn’t acknowledge her. Erik pays a visit to Blair and kindly reminds her that he can, and will, tell Nate that he slept with her. That Nate doesn’t need to feel guilty about sleeping with Serena, because his hypocrite girlfriend cheated on him with his best friend. Threw herself at him, even though he said that they shouldn’t. 

The next day, Blair invites Serena to have lunch together. Erik sits with the lacrosse team for the first time, satisfied that he’s done his brotherly duty. 

  
 **Four.**

Nate likes Serena. He really does. 

It’s just that, well. Her older sister is seriously hot.

While Serena has yet to grow into coltish limbs, Erika’s  _perfect_. There’s no other way to describe it. She looks amazing even sweaty and ramming into people on the hockey field. 

“You’re still checking van der Woodsen out?” Chuck sits next to him. “Dude, you know that she won’t even look at you twice.”

Trust Chuck to be the realist. Nate knows his place. Erika doesn’t say more than the friendly “Hey, Nate,” when he goes to Serena’s house and she pops in to check on them. To her, he’s just her little sister’s friend.

“Maybe when you’re older,” Chuck says encouragingly, probably noticing the look of despair. “Some girls like them young.”

Nate looks at Chuck, bewildered. “We’re like, three years apart or something. It’s not as if we’re eligible to have a relationship where she’s the cougar.”

Chuck shoves him and looks at him as if he’s seriously stupid. “Not a cougar, Nathaniel. Some women don’t mind their men slightly younger. It’s the six year rule.”

“The six year rule?” Nate has never heard of this six year rule.

“Six years up, six years down. Meaning Erika would date someone between the ages of twelve and twenty-four.”

Erika van der Woodsen dating a twelve-year-old? Like what Blair would say so eloquently,  _ew_. “Dude, that’s pretty gross.”

“It sounds disgusting now,” Chuck admits. “But when you’re older it’s not that bad.”

God, Nate hopes so.

Erika slams in a goal, and he stands up, clapping.

: : :

Because Erika is clearly the hottest senior in Constance, she’s got to date the hottest senior in St. Jude’s. His name is Dylan Morgan, and he’s the heir to a freaking oil company. Which means that not only is he ridiculously good-looking, he’s also ridiculously rich. He’s also Nate’s lacrosse captain, meaning that he’s ridiculously good at lacrosse, and he’s ridiculously nice, so Nate can’t hate him.

It’s all very, very unfair.

On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, Erika strolls into the St. Jude’s campus as if it’s hers. Every boy follows the sway of her butt, and she’s always in that sexy Constance Billard uniform of hers, blonde hair flowing past her shoulders and ending at the middle of her back. She’d find Dylan at the school steps, fucking  _climbs_  on his lap, and kisses him hello. Her hands are in his hair, and his own are sliding under her shirt. It’s like softcore porn. And when they part, everyone quickly looks away, pretending to be doing something.

Yeah, Nate’s pretty jealous.

: : :

They always go to Serena’s house on Sundays. Her parents are never in, probably preparing for some benefit or party, so they’ve got the whole house to themselves. Well, themselves and Erika. 

Nate excuses himself to go to the bathroom, and when he pushes the door open, he nearly has an aneurysm. 

Erika’s in there, shaving her legs in nothing but a towel. It shouldn’t look that sexy, because she’s got white mousse all over, but every move of the razor means more tan skin revealed and Nate has to hold back a whimper.

“Nate!” Erika looks up, smiling. It’s scary how she and Serena look alike. Would Serena look like that in the future? Because if she will, Nate wants first dibs. It’s just, well, he doesn’t remember Erika looking awkward, ever, and nowadays Serena stumbles on the sidewalk, cursing her long legs that she hasn’t gotten used to. 

“Hey,” he stammers, feeling exactly like the lovelorn fool that he is. “Sorry, I’ll just go.”

“No, no, wait,” Erika tells him. “I’m almost done here. Sorry, I take so long at this,” she laughs.

Nate doesn’t know anything witty to say. “Take your time,” he blurts out. 

Erika laughs again, and his face heats up.  _Take your time?_  What sort of a line is that? “How’s you and Serena, anyway? “

“Me and Serena?”

“Well, yeah,” Erika tilts her head. “You guys are together, right?”

Nate’s heart skips a beat. “No, no, we’re not. We’re just friends.”

“Oh,” Erika says, sounding disappointed. Why does she sound disappointed? It makes no sense. “So you’re with Blair.”

Nate shakes his head. “We’re just friends, too.”

She suddenly grins. “Don’t tell me you’re with Chuck.”

Nate chokes on his saliva. “No,” he gasps. “Fuck, no, I’m definitely not with Chuck.”

Erika laughs again, finishing up her shave. There’s no white mousse left, just endless legs that Nate wants to get in between. “I’m just pulling your leg, Natie. By the way, you and Serena? Think about it.”

Nate blinks. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, I guess I will.”

“Great!” She says perkily, before washing up and walking out of the bathroom. “I’ll see you around!”

“Yeah,” Nate calls out, wondering what that was all about, and half hard from watching Erika shave her legs. “You too.”

  
 **Five.**

“Two words, man,” Erik says as he barges into the room. “Blair Waldorf.”

Stephen looks up from his biology textbook, alarmed. “What’s up with Blair?”

“How do you not hit that?” Erik asks, throwing himself on his younger brother’s bed. Stephen scowls as his notes fly. “She’s hot, man. And you guys are the same age. Go for it. You have my approval.”

Stephen scoffs. “No one needs your approval,” he bitches. Erik’s little brother is such a whiny bitch. Sometimes it’s embarrassing to acknowledge him. “She’s interested in Nate, anyway. Not me. I’m just her best friend.”

“Nate Archibald?” Erik’s blue eyes widen. “Dude, Nate Archibald is not as awesome as you are. And believe me, it takes a lot of effort for me to say that.”

“Thanks, Erik,” Stephen rolls his eyes. “I appreciate it.”

Erik flutters his eyelashes. “Anything for you, Stephie.”

Stephen shoves him hard enough to almost roll him off the bed. “It’s Stephen, jerk.”

His little brother is so sensitive. Sometimes Erik wonders if he’s really a boy underneath all those layers.

: : :

When Erik leaves for Brown, he pulls Stephen into a headlock. “Uphold my legacy,” he orders. “Don’t bring the van der Woodsen name down.”

Stephen snorts. “I’m not going to be a manwhore, if that’s what you mean.”

“You know, you are clearly undersexed. Go sleep with someone, it’ll do wonders for your whiny attitude.”

“Erik!”

: : :

He gets the call just when the second half of his freshman year starts. 

“Erik, I’ve done something bad.”

Erik rolls his eyes, closing his textbook. What? He studies, contrary to popular belief. And he’d never admit it, but he’ll always have time for his little brother. “What’s up, Stephie?” he asks, pretending not to notice the teary voice on the other line. “Killed a cockroach?” 

“I slept with Nate.”

Erik takes a while to process that. “You mean you slept with Blair.” How the fuck does Stephen mix Nate and Blair up? Unless one of them is keeping a really deep, dark secret. He hopes it’s not Blair. 

“No,” Stephen chokes out. “Nate.”

He realizes he hasn’t said anything after that when he hears Stephen rambling. “Oh god, you hate me, don’t you? Don’t hate me, Erik, please, I can’t take it if you hate me. Please don’t hate me-”

“Who was the top?” Erik asks? It’s not exactly what he had in mind, he was thinking more of _“When were you going to tell me you were gay, little brother?”_ or  _“You think I give a fuck about this?”_  but his tongue went astray.

Stephen seems stunned. “What?!”

“Who topped, man?”

“Uh,” Erik can practically see his brother worrying his lip. “Does that matter?”

“Well yeah,” Erik says causally, covering up his too-fast heartbeat and jumbled thoughts. “Shows how kinky you are.”

“Shut up,” Stephen mutters, and that’s how Erik knows.

“You bottomed!” 

“I didn’t say anything!”

“I’m your older brother,” Erik says, all-knowing. “I know every thing, you kinky bitch.”

“So you aren’t mad?” Stephen asks hopefully.

“Course not!” Erik says as cheerful as he can. He’s worried for his brother, of course he is, not everyone is okay with homosexuality. But of course he isn’t mad, he can never be mad at Stephen. Aside from that one time he spoilt his Elmo toy. Erik chooses to think that never happened. “It’s cool man! We can go to bars together and I’ll never worry that you’ll steal a hot chick!”

Stephen laughs for a while, and they stay in comfortable silence, before he says softly. “He said it was a mistake.”

Fuck no, Stephen van der Woodsen is never a mistake. Let that be known. “Fuckin’ redneck,” Erik mutters angrily, ignoring the fact that Nate Archibald lives in the Upper East Side and is as rich as them. “He’s too pussy to admit that he liked your ass and tapped it.”

“Erik,” Stephen says calmly. “Can we not talk about my ass?”

“What position did you guys try?” Erik asks, curious.

“Erik!”

: : :

When Erik picks Stephen up to go to boarding school, he looks at his brother seriously. “You really wanna do this?”

Stephen nods, teary eyed. He was always so sensitive. “Yeah,” he says. “Need to get away from this. From Blair and Nate acting like the most perfect couple ever.”

Erik pulls his brother into a manly one-armed embrace. “Go to boarding school, find a smoking hot guy, fuck him senseless – or let him fuck you senseless – and take photos.”

“What?!”

“Put them on Facebook. Let Nate see what he’s missing out on.”

Stephen is speechless for at least two minutes. “Why would I do that?”

“That’s what all the girls do man, to get back at the guys who do this kind of shit. Of course, censor the dick in your ass.”

Stephen rolls his eyes. “You just want me to continue your legacy of a manwhore.”

Erik grins. “You got that straight. I mean, uh, not really.”

Stephen may be a whiny little sensitive bitch, but little brother’s punches fucking  _hurt_.

: : :

Two weeks later Erik gets a call.

“Yeah, Stephie?”

“Check out my Facebook.”

Not only is little brother a kinky freak in the sheets – Erik had no idea a human being was that flexible – he’s also a manipulative bitch, tagging Nate and Blair with the line ‘Miss you guys!’ 

Erik has never been so proud of his brother.


End file.
